Full of Fail

I couldn't be more disappointed in myself. I have totally fallen off the fitness wagon. It all started when I was out of town for three days at Rock USA. I kept coming up with excuses not to run after that, and before you know it two weeks had gone by.

Yesterday was the Packer 5K and I couldn't participate. When I woke up I didn't feel well and without getting too graphic about it, spent most of the morning in the bathroom. I attributed this to nerves even though I was only planning on walking the majority of it because I knew I wasn't ready to run the whole thing. Well, all of the bathroom activity of the morning left me weak and dehydrated, and I made it all the way to lining up to go and I told my friends that it wasn't happening for me. I was either going to pass out, puke, or both. I called my mom and cried about it, which is totally normal behavior for someone turning 30 in a few weeks. Right now I'm giving you a look just DARING you to contradict that statement.

Lesson learned. My stomach still doesn't feel up to par today so I'm thinking I caught a little bug or something? But I have the color run coming up in a month and I will be damned if its a repeat of yesterday. I now have an awesome 5K shirt and pictures of me sporting my racing bib and I never actually did the race. I'm the biggest lamer in the world. I never want that to happen again.

But the summer semester ends in a few days, and I have a two week reprieve before the fall semester. It's a perfect opportunity to get my butt back in gear. Start eating better again, re-quit the soda, and start doing the C25K again. I also have two Jillian Michaels DVDs and was thinking of trying the 30 Day Shred. I'm standing up in a wedding September 8th and would really like it if my bridesmaid dress wasn't quite so tight.

I'll close this with two pictures from before the race yesterday. I look all fitnessy and whatnot, don't I? Too bad I collapsed in the grass about a half hour after these were taken. *sigh*

 I'm the tall girl on the left in this one, with my friends/co-workers Catherine and Liana.

Yes, I'm very white. But I'm comfortable in my (pasty) skin!

W2D3

What the heck is wrong with me?

I made it through W2D1, and haven't made it through a day since. I made it through to the last run today so I got farther than last time, but had to stop with only about 20 seconds to go and just walk. I could not get a deep breath, it hurt to breathe through my nose for some reason and I couldn't get a deep enough breath through my mouth so I was just struggling. Aside from my lungs/breathing I think I would have made it. I know I have some seasonal allergies, so maybe that's it? But why is it bothering me so much more now?

I did my walking cool down, came in the house and stretched, and my breathing still isn't quite back to normal. When I first got in the house I felt like I was going to pass out. I must be the most out of shape person on the planet.

I'm not giving up. So don't go thinking I am. I will stay on Week 2 for a month if that's what it takes.

W2D2

I think my issue today was mental.

For those of you that know me in real life, I'm sure you're thinking "when ISN'T your issue mental?" hahaha... but seriously.

I did not want to get out of bed this morning. I was resentful and mad at the C25K and was NOT going to do it. But finally I got up, later than usual. The sun was out hardcore which didn't help matters either. There was a lot of traffic out - and I hate to be watched. I know that shouldn't matter but it does. Despite my warming up my legs felt stiff the whole time and I just felt like I was running wrong. I kept having to consciously slow my jogging pace because I wanted to go faster and it was really affecting my breathing.

I was just full of fail, yo. I packed it in early. Yep.

So as I repeated a day of Week 1, I will now be repeating a day of Week 2. I feel a bit discouraged but there is no way I'm giving up. This almost 30 year old couch potato is going to become a runner, even if it takes me twice as long to get through the program!

Yesterday I heard about another 5K in October that I would LOVE to be in good enough shape to do. The Warrior Princess Mud Run has 10 obstacles throughout the 5K course.... does that sound like fun or what?! You even get a princess crown at the finish line, hell yeah. Must keep working at this so I can justify signing up!

W2D1

I didn't have time to blog about it this morning, so I feel strange writing about it when it isn't as fresh in my mind... but W2D1 was a success!

I babysit my niece Chloe on Thursday nights overnight, she just turned one. I waited for her dad to pick her up this morning and then headed out shortly after 5:30. It was *much* cooler this morning and I was so grateful - in fact I was almost chilly for the first few minutes of my warm up! I did the first few runs without a problem, but it definitely got harder towards the end.

I told my fitness friend/co-worker Catherine today at work that "I'm starting to feel something in my butt!". Of course she looked at me like I was crazy, but I told her that when I was running today I could feel a sensation in my butt like those muscles were being worked. Yay for hopefully a firm butt, someday! Aside from my butt feeling (haha) I have been feeling changes in my calves. It's such a thrill to know that I'm working those muscles and that in a few more weeks I will start seeing some changes... let's just hope my waist line slims down a bit!

I was also excited to tell her about how I opened my mouth during my run and a drop of sweat dripped onto my tongue... it was both disgusting and rewarding at the same time. To know that I'm sweating not just because I'm trapped in my car with a broken air conditioner (which is why I'm usually sweating) but because I'm physically exerting myself for a change is pretty great.

I don't keep track of my distance traveled right now, I just concentrate on the time - but I have been running the same route each time and I definitely went farther today than I did during Week 1, which also makes me feel pretty darn good. After I was done with the cool down I did my stretches, hopped in the shower and rushed off to work.

I mentioned in a previous entry that I will be doing the Packer 5K with a few co-workers on July 28th. I'm signed up as a "walker" and I expect to walk the majority. Yesterday at work I told Catherine about The Color Run and today she talked me into signing up for it - it's August 24th! I was wanting to do it NEXT year but her enthusiasm was contagious so I decided to go for it. If I run every other day and never have to repeat a day I will finish the C25K in time for the Color Run, but I highly doubt that will happen. If I could even run half of it that would be great... we will see what happens! The run looks like a total blast though and I'm pretty excited about it. The registration fee was kinda pricy but my boyfriend knows how happy I am about taking up this hobby and how determined I am to stick with it so he paid the fee for me. After my overindulgence on workout clothes I'm pretty strapped so the fact that he footed that was pretty sweet.... either that or he's just looking forward to getting me out of his hair for the day! (kidding, kidding... maybe)





Does that look like a good time or what?!

W1D4

Alarm went off at 5:30 this morning, I was out the door by 5:45.

This morning's weather reminded me of when I moved to Baton Rouge for three months with Pete when he was working there. HUMID. This girl does NOT like humidity. The entire time I felt like I couldn't breathe deeply enough. I can't imagine what it would have been like if I had waited a few more hours to go.

On a positive note, I feel like I'm ready to move on to Week 2. I'm nervous about it, don't get me wrong - but I do feel like my body is capable of it. I just pray that when I give it a go that it isn't as humid.... because if it is I'm not sure if I'll make it (I really need access to a treadmill). I live in Wisconsin - don't get me wrong, I like a warm day but come on!

When I got back from my five-minute cool down I did some of the stretches my friend/co-worker Catherine suggested to me the other day. I like her stretches better than what I had been doing, and they feel like they are beneficial. She's been running for two years so I'll trust her judgement.

Happy Independence Day everyone! After I hit the showers and Brady wakes up, we will be heading off to the parade.... my little guy will be marching with the Cub Scouts! I'll be wearing a big floppy hat and avoiding the sun as much as possible.

Disappointed

I took all but one Week 1 podcast off my ipod last night, and added three versions of Week 2 so I would be all set to move up after one more day of Week 1.

Brady must have had a bad dream because he crawled in with me at some point last night and I never sleep well when he is kicking and tossing and turning. When the alarm went off this morning I hit snooze. When it went off again I shut the darn thing off. Now it is way too hot and muggy to run outside.

Super disappointed in myself. No excuse. I have to think about how good I feel about myself after I get out there and do it - and how bad I feel about myself today since I didn't. I can't let this set me back, I WILL get out there and do it tomorrow morning!

W1D3

Well I'm proud to say that Week 1, Day 3 is in the books - but I'm feeling a bit discouraged after this "run". So much so that I'm going to extend Week 1 for one more day (since technically I didn't finish W1D1 anyway).

For as much as I love the fact that I'm trying to get into shape... when that alarm clock went off this morning I did NOT want to get out of bed. But I keep talking about this to my mom, my boyfriend - hell, I'm blogging about it - so I have all kinds of people that can hold me accountable. So I dragged my ass outta bed, put on my cute workout clothes and grabbed the nano.

My calves started feeling sore/rubbery with the first jog - that's never been an issue for me before, but I pushed through it. The sun is out in full force this morning so I started sweating right away too... super attractive. But I kept going. Mia, a.k.a. Chubby Jones, has a few different versions of her C25K podcasts and I listened to a different one today.

I swear that broad is out to get me. I took the same route that I did the other day, I got all excited for the spot where she said it was my last run when I went on day 2... but on this podcast I had one more run after that. Seriously, I'm not making this up. At least, I don't think I am. I finished my last run (slow jog) successfully but all I wanted to do was collapse after that.

I'm still not finding a groove. My breathing has improved so I'm not as out of breath as I was when I started, but I'm not finding a natural rhythm with the breathing/running. I know I will have it so much easier when I do. I also think that for as cute as my running shoes are, they aren't that great (sorry, my adorable K Swiss beauties).

So I will do one more day of week 1, and then push myself to at least attempt W2D1. We'll see how it goes... hope I stick with it, and I hope you guys stick with me.

(I wish I had as much fun running as I do online shopping for treadmills and workout clothes)

Couch to 5K

I never utilize this journal for anything, and I've decided it's time to change that. I'm going to be one of the many on the internet that chronicles their Couch to 5K journey. If you don't know what the program is, I highly recommend that you check out this site and see what it's all about: http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_3/181.shtml.

I decided to do this because I have never really been "in shape" in my entire life. When I was young I was always very skinny, but never had to do anything to achieve that. Yep, I was the girl those other girls hated - wolfing down Big Macs and not gaining an ounce. Then I got pregnant and my metabolism went out the window. I gained 88.8 pounds and gave birth to a bouncing 12 pound boy. Holy crap. I lost most of the weight gradually without trying, but the last 20 pounds hung on for years. I went through a stressful period when my son was about four and a half and finally got down to my pre-pregnancy weight of 145. My body is nowhere near the same of course, but to be able to fit in those smaller jeans again felt fantastic.

Of course, since I did nothing healthy to LOSE that weight, it eventually crept back on. I'm currently hanging out around 155 which is acceptable for my height (I'm 5'10") but I don't fit in the Silver jeans I bought ten pounds ago and damn it, I want to fit in those jeans. They weren't cheap.

I started off using My Fitness Pal (http://www.myfitnesspal.com/) and tried to make an effort to eat better. I quit my beloved Mountain Dew for three months. I logged my calories. This always seems to last about two weeks and then I fall off the wagon. I still want to watch what I eat, and try to make better choices - but going on an actual diet is just not realistic for me right now. Maybe I will have the willpower eventually, but I knew I had to try something else. I'm still using MFP though, it's a great way to keep track of what you're eating and to meet other people going through similar struggles.

My son is seven now - and I would like to be able to keep up with him. It's embarrassing that I'm not overweight yet can barely jog for 60 seconds (I'm a former smoker as well but quit eight years ago so I can't use that for an excuse anymore). Honestly, if I don't lose much weight from doing this program that's okay - REALLY. As long as I notice changes in my body. If I tone up and lose inches that way I will be thrilled. I have a bridesmaid dress to squeeze my rear into this September and I don't want to look all bulgy in it.

I decided to go jogging when my son was away at camp, and ended up alternating jogging and walking. I knew there was a program that did that too, so that's when I started to research the Couch to 5K. I don't like to carry my phone when I'm exercising, so instead of using an app I've opted to download the Chubby Jones podcasts on iTunes (free!) and put them on my nano.

The first official day, W1D1, I had Brady come with me on his bike. I'm not sure if it was the time of day I ran (afternoon) or the fact that I may have been trying to keep up with him on his bike... but I was full of fail. I did the first 60 seconds no problem. The second 60 seconds I finished. The third set... I stopped with 10 seconds to go and walked the rest of the podcast. I was so disappointed in myself - not to mention embarrassed. I can't finish W1D1?! I'm screwed!

Instead of giving up, this made me more determined than ever to keep up with it. I want to be able to run a 5K damn it, even if my "run" is slower than most people power walk. I'm not looking for speed right now, just endurance. I was going to do this every other day, but ended up skipping yesterday because the heat index was ridiculous. Forced myself to get my butt out of bed this morning (my preferred time to exercise) and went by myself this time - W1D2. I concentrated more on my breathing, which is why I couldn't finish day one... I was so out of breath, my lungs were on fire. This time I breathed deeply through my nose, and out my mouth. I made an effort to jog slower (turtles were passing me).

... and I finished!!!! Mia (a.k.a. Chubby Jones) didn't even warn me that it was my last 60 seconds running... she told me after I was done - and I bet I looked ridiculous walking down the road because I was grinning from ear to ear. I'm sure there are people laughing their butts off at me right now because hi, I'm only on week one. But it was an achievement for me and it made my damn day. I was winded but not crazy out of breath like last time. I felt the burn in my legs this time though, which didn't occur on day one.

Some co-workers talked me into signing up for the Packer 5K at the end of July. I'm signed up as a "walker", but this is kind of what got me started. I won't be able to finish this program before the 5K, in fact I may have to repeat weeks of the C25K - and I'm okay with that. But I'm just thankful to have found something to motivate me and I really really hope I can stick with it. All of my other hobbies (reading, gaming) are sedentary and I need to get off my butt. Plus I bought some cute workout clothes and I have to get some use out of them (I'm a big fan of Champion's Shiny Seamless Sports Bra and Adidas Perfect Rib tanks).

Our small town doesn't have a gym, so I'm already worrying about when the weather is too hot/too cold to run outside. I'm currently haunting Craigslist trying to find a good deal on a used treadmill (like, free). Wish me luck.